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Comedy by people with funny Twitters. 141 characters to 140 words per post.
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Why Cats Suck
I rarely get more than 4-5 hours of sleep a night. This is because my cat is an asshole. I can only imagine this is what goes on in her tiny pea brain:
4 am: I desperately need to go to the living room for some reason! U can open door, plz? (LOL speak iz cute, no?)
4:15 am: Oh yeah, I forgot the living room is boring when everyone is sleeping, I think I’d like to come back to bed.
5am: But WAIT- I’ll bet there’s totally something exciting going on in the living room now!!!
5:15 am- Hmmm. Still boring. Oh well, I think I am hungry instead- while you’re up would you be a dear and put some kibbles in my bowl?
5:20 am: chomp, chomp, chomp
5:25 am: chomp
5:45 am: I think I would like for you to pet me now.
6:00 am: Hey! Hey! HEY!!! So, uh- you awake yet? How ‘bout now? NOW?
7:00 am: I sure am tired. I think my stupid fuzzy ass is going to sleep FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. What’s that? You have to get up now? OK. Would you mind turning out the light when you leave. K? Thx!
